10.18.00 |
I am sitting here in the wee hours of morning thinking of all the clichés that seem applicable to my life in this moment.
"Into every life, some rain must fall."
Well, folks ... it is a virtual deluge in Jann's life these days. From too much work and not enough energy [due to illness], to an ensuing family crisis, to loved ones under the hand of illness. The rain falls heavy and floods my spirit with concern.
"The sun will rise just beyond the horizon."
My man, my Jason ... just recently had to deal with the stress of a potential reoccurrence of cancer in his mother. Into surgery she went to have the growing mass in her body removed, biopsied and dissected. The sun rose on our horizon when we learned that the sarcoma was contained and no chemo would be necessary.
"Every rose has its thorn."
Lately the thorn in the wonderful garden that IS my family has been "anger and stubbornness." Because of a stupid statement or two made over a simple game of cards, my Mother and my brother R. are not speaking! And who do you think is nominated to act as the intermediary? Yup, yours truly. Keepin' the peace ain't easy! Especially when you are dealing with MY family.
"There is nothing to fear but fear itself."
I am afraid.
My Mom (yes, SHE ... of the stubborn clan) came to me last Thursday to examine her. She said, "Jann, is this anything?" My hand found it ... and my heart sank. Something is growing now inside my Mom. Her CAT scan was yesterday and we are playing the wait-n-see game as to what type of surgery will be scheduled. It is tearing me apart with fear ... and worry ...
... so I call upon my older brother W. (who lives out of state). I want him to come home. I need him ... but ...
"If it doesn't kill me, it makes me stronger."
W. informs me that last week he was doing some sort of contortionistic activity behind a desk unit to hook up computer cables (sound familiar?) and injured his cervical spine (neck area) and he cannot move his right arm. After a visit to a chiropractor [*I shudder at the thought*] ... he is worse, not better. However, he assures me that he will be here when I need him. I hope he will bring his negotiating skills along.
"It's always darkest before the dawn."
Right now, I am praying that dawn comes quickly for my dear friend Peter. Yesterday, in a casual and matter-of-fact tone, Peter informed me that he has a brain tumor. While he tried to pass the situation off with a casual air, I know my friend is afraid. Today he sees the neurosurgeon. Please God, let the darkness pass and the early dawn bring new hope and healing.
"Always look on the bright side of life."
Another dear friend, Jeff, is soon to be having some eye surgery. Sure, he would tell you it is minor. But surgery is surgery. I worry about him and for him. He has an uncanny way to always see the bright side of life, situations, and circumstances. He took a bumpy and difficult road to get to this place ... and I wait patiently for the day that both eyes are healed and he truly DOES see the bright side of everything ... literally.
"The more things change, the more they stay the same."
It appears that while my life is going through "time passages" ... the ever constant is my friends. Friends that call me just to talk about slipcovers and banana bread. Friends who send me pink fuzzy rabbits and chocolate covered raisins just to say they care. Friends who make me laugh into the wee hours of the morning when my body hurts so bad that I pray for night to end. Yes, my life does go through changes ... yet some things simply do not change.
"Life goes on."
Yes, indeed it does. And whilst I may sit and ponder the clichés of my life, I would not trade what I have been blessed with for anything in the world.
Except perhaps that...
"This too, shall pass."
... and for those I love ... it will pass swiftly, gently ... resulting in peace, health and life's special harmony. |
