09.24.02

It was 108° here in Phoenixville yesterday. It was also the offical first day of autumn.

Normally, I would be somehow waxing poetic (i.e. griping and complaining) about the incessant heat.

However, today ... perhaps for the first time I can remember ... I am actually grateful for the desert heat.

Why?

Because later today I will venture outdoors to play in the hose.

Huh?

Let me 'splain ...

... as previously stated herein, I am suffering from a rather unpleasant back problem which has left me unable to walk.

In addition, I have lost all feeling in my right calf and foot making standing a bit precarious. Although I can now stand with the aid of a walker, I teeter and totter. I am unsafe when vertical. And ... it hurts like Hell.

Because I have been paralyzed by pain for weeks and weeks ... I have not been able to shower or bathe in a tub.

Now, before you start conjuring up images of swarming flies and braided armpit hair, let me assure you that I bathe daily via the "sponge bath".

My hair is washed regularly by hanging my head over the side of the bed and pouring water (shampoo, creme rinse, etc.) through my hair and into a large catch basin.

My legs are shaved. My teeth are brushed.

I even had a professional pedicurist come to my Mother's home to care for my tootsies. Oh what a sweet indulgence!

Now that I have said all that ...

... I am just itching (no pun intended) to have running water over my body.

So ... because I cannot lift my leg to step into the bathtub without potential disaster ...

... tomorrow I will wheel chair my way into the back yard ... transfer to a custom built (raised for height) lawn chair ...

... and proceed to play in the hose!

Of course, I have Mom believing that my intent is to shampoo and bathe but you and I know otherwise, eh?

And why is this outdoor adventure possible on 9/24, the second day of autumn?

Because I live in the desert. Record breaking high tempatures. Hot ground keeping the cold tap water very warm.

Yes, today it is forecasted to be 106°.

Ain't that the coolest! ;-p

09.11.02

As this day of introspection comes to a close, I bow my head and offer a soft prayer:

"Lord, thank You for this day.
Asking ... believing ...
Your spirit of grace on those who still grieve, Your hand of mercy on those still in pain, and Your continued sweet balm of healing on the world wounded by hate."

09.09.02

09.02.02

The things I took for granted:

Standing in the shower, letting the hot steamy water caress my aching muscles and the feel of my long hair ... wet and soapy against my skin.

Bending over to pick up my athletic shoes ... and the slight groan unconsciously emitted when stretching to tie the laces.

Sitting on my deck watching "the outdoors". Actually, sitting anywhere. Yes, including "on" the privy.

The horizon. I do not care what lies on the horizon ... simply having one to look at.

Waking in the morning, stretching my 6' frame to all corners of my big bed. Sitting up ... planting both feet on the floor, standing ... and walking to face the day whilst grumbling to myself about bills, the weather, and traffic. Brushing my teeth while standing at a sink with running water.

"Doing" anything for myself: making a cup of tea, grabbing a cold Diet Coke "on the run", checking the mail, picking a dropped paper clip up from the floor ... vacuuming.

Kneeling in prayer.

Simply being outdoors.

Normal digestion.

For many weeks I have been horizontal, unable to move. I grew to know every crook and nannie of my bedroom ceiling.

Later, for 17 days, I became intimately familiar with the ceiling of a Phoenix hospital (with the occasional bed ridden trip down the halls to radiology, the CAT scan or to nuclear medicine for bone scans and MRIs ... and the incessant flashing of bright hallway ceiling lights brandishing small spears of retinal pain). And yes, you can get "motion sickness" flat on your back ... which can be attested to by the "civilians" sharing the elevator with me, my transport guy and an emesis basin adorned with scrambled egg and gingerale.

Now, I am exploring the textures and ambiance of the "Navajo White" ceiling of my mother's guest room.

I know there is a long reaching and divine reason for my situation. I know it is providence of my Creator.

On Wednesday, I will undergo a second "conservative" procedure on my spine. If this does not work, I will be fused with the bone tissue of a cadaver and metal plated for spinal stability.

If either procedure does work (oh, for the grace of God) ... I make this promise to all spirits of eternity ...

... I will never take the simple acts of living for granted again.

08.28.02

Ouch.

Make that: ouch ... dammit ... ouch!

This update is coming to you from literally flat on my back with my notebook balancing precariously on my stomach.

Why?

Back pain. Still.

Cannot sit. Cannot stand. Cannot walk.

I will continue to be MIA until further notice.

I have checked my email twice in the last month ... if you have written, my apologies: I will not be answering email until further notice.

Your patience is most sincerely appreciated.