07.31.02

Ouch.

Knick knack ... back outta whack.

Neuro pain = insanity.

Jann = mucho neuro pain.

Deduction: Jann = insanity.

Will return when sane days dawn.

07.23.02

Just over a month ago, I received a phone call from my Mother.

"Janni? I need to see you. Can I come over?"

I could tell by the intonation of her voice that something was terribly wrong.

"Sure Mom. What's going on?"

"I just need to talk to you."

Twenty minutes later, my sweet little Mom is sitting in my home terrified. Tears of fear coursing down her face.

She had just been told that she has bladder cancer.

I was both stricken by the news and angry.

I immediately wanted to know who made the diagnosis ... based on what procedure ... what the blood and urine tests revealed ... and so on.

Mom gave me the "medical professional's" name and I set about my course of discovery.

To make this long story short and oh so very sweet ...

... today my Mother endured a cystoscopy which revealed no cancer and a totally normal bladder.

I am both elated and angry:

Elated that the woman I love so dearly and call "friend" does not have cancer.

Angry that a "medical professional" had the cajones of a gorilla to make a diagnosis and casually (yes, casually) declare it as cancer ...

... without the benefit of a scope, a biopsy, or even a blood test.

I have been in the medical arena for over 20 years and I have never been so angry at the reckless disregard for the emotional well being of a patient.

Our family is dysfunctional enough without the added stress of believing that the matriarch may be dying of cancer.

But today ... I will let that anger dissipate.

Today I cried tears of thanksgiving.

Today I can draw a deep breath.

It seems like forever that I have been waiting to exhale.

07.19.02

Miss me? I seriously doubt it.

I took a blog/journal tour recently and find that links to my site are dropping faster than the Dow.

Well, alrighty then.

I just have had nothing but icky news to write about and I chose to forego that opportunity and instead simply bridle my tongue.

I have learned that quiet often speaks louder than a thousand ill placed words.

In the movie "Stepmom", Susan Sarandon's character (Jackie) is speaking with Julia Robert's character (Isabel) in the darkroom. Every time Jackie would make a statement, Isabel would respond or interrupt with some witty or perhaps sarcastic retort.

Jackie, exasperated by Isabel's incessant interruptions, finally asks (paraphrasing), "Do you have a minimum word count that you must reach daily?"

Boy, do I relate.

Ever know someone who talks/writes simply to hear/read themselves without regard to the content of their jabber or how it relates to a specific conversation?

You know ...

... kinda like this post.