03.24.02

One comment about the Academy Awards and then I will skulk back into my corner:

Women???

You spend thousands of dollars on gowns, jewels, shoes and the appropriate lingerie ...

... then you show up on the biggest night for the movie crowd genre with your hair looking like you just got out of bed.

No, not the soft, sexy tousled look ... (ala Reese Witherspoon and Nicole Kidman)

... I am talking about the ratty, over dried, bad permed, unbrushed, raggedy assed mess of a street person! (ala Carmen Diaz and oh-so-many more)

Perhaps I am not hip, cool, or chillin' with the moment ...

... but please!

When did it become chic to coiffure yourself with a hand blender?

03.17.02

- An Irish Blessing -

May you always have:
Walls for the winds,
A roof for the rain,
Tea beside the fire,
Laughter to cheer you,
Those you love near you,
And all your heart might desire!

Go mbeannai Dia duit.

03.14.02

"O, be some other name!
What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title."
           - Shakespeare, "Romeo & Juliet"

Yes, indeed. I ask you, "What's in a name?"

Well, it appears that there is a great deal more to my simple four letter moniker than a method to call me to dinner.

I am Jann.

It is pronounced in English just as it looks ... like "Jan". But spelled with two nn's. Swedish. Blame my parents.

Why is that so confusing to so many?

In the last few weeks, my simple name has been converted to: Joanne • Jean • John • Jenn • Janna • Juan • Jess • Joan • Jane

Arrrrgh!

While spending nearly three weeks in the hospital, every version of my name was used on me by nurses, lab techs, respiratory techs, radiology, and so on.

Perhaps the most irritating misuse of my name occurred when unsuspecting medical personnel would walk into my room and ask, "Mrs. Johnson?"

Since I was in a private room and there was no chance they were referring to a roommate, I would simply answer in my full oxygen mask impaired voice, "No" and feign disinterest.

Of course they would persist:

"Aren't you um, er, Jane ... er, Joan ... um, Mrs. Johnson?"

I would patiently remove the oxygen mask, slide it down below my chin, and in my best innocent voice (though horribly hoarse due to previous intubation tubes), I would respond, "If you are looking for Mrs. Johnson ... she went home. My mother will return in the morning."

I wish that I had a camera to document the various stages of bewildered expressions on their faces until they "got it".

I could not help but wonder if there was some sort of medical manual somewhere that expressed the notion that if you are a female patient over the age of 40, you are immediately thought to be married?

Why is it though, when it comes to sending me the medical bills ... the name is perfect?

03.11.02

It appears that those odd, rather demented characters who build worms and virii for computers are at it again.

Be advised that the email will read as foows:

From: Microsoft Corporation Security Center
Subject: Internet Security Update
Message:
Microsoft Customer,
This is the latest version of security update, the update which eliminates all known security vulnerabilities affecting Internet Explorer and MS Outlook/Express as well as six new vulnerabilities

How to install
Run attached file q216309.exe
How to use
You don't need to do anything after installing this item.

BEWARE: This is NOT from Microsoft.

03.10.02

Pick up lines.

You know, those ridiculous phrases used in an effort to entice someone into believing they would like to get intimate or further the relationship along.

I am a single female and yes, I have heard my share of pick up lines. Some lines have been so ridiculous that I had to give the gentleman kudos for trying something so lame.

However, "kudos" was all he would get.

A pick up line would never work on me.

But then again ... *wink* ... some of these lines have never been used on me:

Picking Up Women: Classic Pick Up Lines [link updated in 2012].

03.05.02

Just a quote:

"It is wonderful how much time good people spend fighting the devil. If they would only expend the same amount of energy loving their fellow men, the devil would die in his own tracks of ennui." - Helen Keller -

03.02.02

I was surprised to learn that I was nominated. I am honored to learn that I won.

Thank you to whomever nominated my site. Thank you to those who voted. Thank you to Diarist.net [site no longer active] for the recognition.