12.31.03

Well, here we are on the eve of the New Year 2004.

I have seen many changes in my life and in the lives of others in the past 365 days.

I have witnessed a world gone mad. I have seen lives lost ... and lives found.

I have made many new friends but sadly, I have lost one or two along the way. It is with gratitude and admiration for my many friends who remain a constant and vigilant reminder that life is indeed sweeter when you share it with others.

I am so fortunate to have my small family still ever present regardless of the dysfunction that we tend to exist within. I am honored to be a daughter and a sister to such remarkable human beings.

My professional life remains prosperous and stable ... and in times when businesses fail so frequently, I realize my blessing and am ever thankful for my work.

Yes, the end of a year does indeed bring about reflections and resolutions.

As such, I resolve to continue to have aspirations to sweetness:

I resolve that in times of disagreement, I will choose to be happy instead of 'right'. I resolve that I will lend my hand in friendship and charity to those less fortunate. I resolve that I will promote the messages of tolerance and understanding.

I resolve that I will pray without pause, without fail ... for peace.

And so, on the last day of the year 2003 ... I am afforded the perfect opportunity to wish those who cross this threshold many things in the New Year:

I wish you much happiness, enduring prosperity and the sharing of love. I wish you smiles and laughter and the warm comfort of those around you. I wish you health and safety in all you do. I wish you peace.

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12.23.03

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12.17.03

*singin' and dancin' a wee elfish jig*

I'm done ... I'm done ... I'm done!

All the gifties are wrapped and/or shipped out of here!

Holiday cards have been mailed for over a week now.

Today I visited a large tree nursery and purchased a gift certificate for Mom ... her birthday is Christmas Eve.

The last 24 hours have been a flurry of activity with packing peanuts flying everywhere, mailing tape stuck to everything (including in my hair), cookie crumbies all over the floor, and little scraps of gift wrapping paper everywhere! Arrrrgh.

Every year I vow to do things in a neat and tidy order ... shipping early ... and enjoying the holidays.

Do I do that? Hell no. My home is wrecked! I will spend the next few hours getting things back to my obsessive level of tidyness.

I do not mean to sound "bah humbug" or anything ... it is just so overwhelming for me when I am still plagued with physical limitations.

Yet, I am not looking my "gift reindeer in the mouth" .... nosiree.

A year ago at this time, I was very much still unable to sit, stand or walk and confined to a rehab bed.

So, for every styro peanut that blows across my carpet, for every piece of tape that sticks in my hair ... for every crumb and bit of wrapping paper messing up my way-too-clean home...

I give thanks.

For me, this is indeed going to be a Merry Christmas!

[11:50AM MST] [Permalink] []

12.14.03

My dreams are so friggin' weird.

I laugh out loud when I awake and remember some of the strange images and circumstances from my dreamstate.

Very early this morning (sometime after 2:am) I dreamed that I was in business with my friend Kelly ... and Wynonna Judd.

We were in the business of baking and delivering fresh gourmet brownies as gifts.

Kelly and Wy flew into Phoenix via a very luxurious private jet from the North Pole and had all kinds of way-over-the-top-expensive designer boots and handbags in their arms when they came in through my front door.

Many of these boots and bags were in animal prints and they wanted to use them as "novelty" shipping containers for the brownies.

I thought they were crazy because no one would spend $5K on brownies in a designer handbag.

I woke up.

So where did all of this nonsense come from?

In real life:

I was invited to attend a country radio station's Christmas Party last night and Wynonna Judd was the featured entertainer. I did not go ... but yet she appeared in my dream.

I bought a brownie mix (add veggie oil and an egg) a few days ago and last night I thought about baking some brownies but chose not to.

I recently watched a TV program on the Travel Channel about luxury private airplanes; in addition, I just finished reading John Grisham's "King of Torts" and the main character bought a very expensive luxury private jet in an effort to 'keep up with the Joneses'.

I am a channel surfer and often find myself landing on "Rich Girls" on MTV. The show follows the adventures of two young women (Ally Hilfiger and Jamie Gleicher) with what appears to be an unlimited source of spending ability.

Jamie wanted a leopard print handbag ... cost = $5,000.00. Her mother bought her the handbag.

Jamie's family had a sick dog that needed surgery to survive ... cost = $5,000.00. Jamie chose to return the handbag because (paraphrasing Jamie), "not that I cannot afford to keep the bag and also get the dog surgery, but it is the principle of the issue".

And finally, last night I was looking though a upscale catalog of potential holiday presents (because I have not done the shopping thing) ... and found some way cool items that would be great "containers" for gifties. But then I laughed out loud because the "container" was way more pricey than the actual gift!

So ... while my brain may logically process my day to day experiences and create fantastical dreams ... nothing can explain a dream that I had recently:

I was nekkid (with a terrific body ... I might add), riding bareback on a giraffe that grew gossamer wings and we flew over the housetops and out to the International Space Station ... while all the time sprinkling chocolate chips as we flew. The chocolate chips turned into cookies, flowers and gems as they were caught by the folks on Earth.

Oh yes indeedy ... my dreams are so friggin' weird.

[10:42AM MST] [Permalink] []

12.12.03

Christmas is coming and I hear the sound of bells.

The bell of the Salvation Army bucket lady. I slipped her a dollar.

The ding of cash register money drawers as they open in a cadence that sings, "Spend, spend, spend".

The ringing clash of shopping carts hitting overstuffed aisles and bountiful displays of presents.

The tinkling sound of pennies falling to the floor from the little pouch of change belonging to the buyer in front of me.

The constant ringing in my ears perpetuated by the overhead speakers in the superstore announcing that a manager is needed in the toy department.

The incessant ringing of the customer service phones left unanswered.

"... here them ring ... ring-a-ling ... it's Christmastime in the city ..."

[10:00AM MST] [Permalink] []

12.04.03

This entry is bathed in procrastination.

Oh babee, today reminds me of why I live in the desert southwest.

The sky goes on for miles painted the purest of crystal blue. The view of the mountains is clear and literally picture perfect. The "winter rye" grass is an intense green ... an emerald blanket.

And the weather ... paradise. It is 71° ... low humidity ... and there is a 6 mph cool breeze dancing in the bright sunlight.

Fall in Phoenix is much like springtime in other parts of the country ... the weather has broken (from hot to cool), the days are wonderful, and the nights are brisk.

I have "Fall Fever" ... so much to do indoors yet all I want to do is sit outside on my deck ... in the cool shadows of afternoon ... and soak in the day.

Sitting here typing on my notebook is the perfect diversion and procrastinatory tool. The cool breeze slightly stirs my windchimes from their quiet repose ... allowing me to lazily listen to the sounds of the city in the afternoon.

Off in the distance, I hear a child squeal with delight. Perhaps a midday trike ride ... or playing ball with Mom in the backyard.

My neighbor just had her carpet cleaned. Perfect timing for upcoming holiday visitors. Perfect weather to open all the windows and let the carpets dry.

Phone just rang. Family is comin' a-visiting tomorrow ... so I must go clean.

Ah, all good things must come to an end.

For now.

[02:10PM MST] [Permalink] []

12.01.03

Read and learn about how HIV and AIDS are affecting the world in 2003:

• World AIDS Day website
• Avert.org
• UNAIDS
• Link and Think
• AIDS.org

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