08.06.08 |
So, it's the middle of the night and due to some nagging pain ... I cannot sleep.
I reach for the remote and with a click of a button, I am transported to "the land of make believe".
Infomercials.
When looking into these portals of promises ... I am transported magically.
I can:
• Lose weight with a multiple of remedies
• Increase my core strength
• Buy a house for $300.00
• Obtain a FHA Loan with lousy credit
• Whip up a full menu of food in a bullet shaped blender
• Cook a full menu of food in a sandwich press
• Detox my colon and poop out any number of ills
• Put on mineral makeup and become a glamour queen
• Cut and chop like a professional chef
• Read a book to find a cure for everything that ails humankind
• Extend the length and girth of my penis (if I had one)
• Soak up a gallon of water with a small handkerchief
• Carry a crapload of stuff in one really ugly shoulder bag
• Never use an iron again (steam my clothes)
• Never use a cooking pot again (steam my vegetables)
• Whiten my teeth, straighten my hair, grow my fingernails
Ah, so many promises.
I was mesmerized by the infomercial for a carpet cleaning system similar to those that you can rent from a grocery store.
The demonstrations looked pretty damned good.
Was it possible that a carpet cleaner COULD work like that?
And can you believe it? The first payment of $29.95 includes a trunkload of cleaning potions to sanitize, de-mold, de-stain, un-foam and basically whip the dirt outta dirt.
Since I am interested but always the skeptic, I trot off to surf the trusty internets and check out the carpet cleaner company's website.
Yup, the potions are free, the stair-furniture-automobile carpet cleaning tool "can be" free ... the first payment is indeed $29.95! Amazing!
But wait.
The total price for the standard size carpet cleaner is over $700.00 and if you want the jumbo-size-wide-mouth unit, it is over $900.00.
Whoa Nellie! Now THAT is what I call being taken to the cleaners.
Carpet cleaners, that is.
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